Armageddon
I don't own any Criterion DVDs. (until I sell my kidneys) For those of us who don't know what a Criterion DVD is, that's alright, that means you're normal. A Criterion DVD is the movie industry's equivalent of literature's Everyman's Library. (the politically incorrect bastards that they are) Every once-in-a-while, a DVD from the past or the contemporary present is given special treatment for being 'groundbreaking', 'provoking', 'timeless'. Remastered audio and visuals, trailers, new commentary, and a mini-book detailing why this film is considered orgasmically good. In short, it's a snobbery-fest. (the best berry festival ever)
Of all the brilliant films, why does Armageddon make the cut for the Criterion team? We all know what Armageddon is about and we can all agree that Willis delivers the same performance in all of the films he has participated in. (juxtaposed with Meg Ryan's movie career of easy going yuppies) Honestly, I enjoyed this film: I bought the Armageddon themed candy, I held back the sniffles when *spoiler* Willis died *end spoiler*, to this day, I still play 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing' in spite of my sexual organs atrophying from lack of use. Perhaps, I don't find the idea of some pop culture rogue invading the Criterion tea party, of Jeremy-Iron sound-alikes, very appealing.
Matrix Trilogy
The Matrix was fun, the first of the three times. After the first film, the latter two, break away from the philosophical paranoia that made it famous and opted for the unnecessary action sequences. (that by now, any high budget film can emulate) By the time the third film, Revolutions, rolled around in theaters, nobody really gave a damn.
Sci-Fi is a dying genre. Any Sci-Fi film of yester-year would be considered obsolete compared to a Nova documentary covering the latest scientific advancement. That's understandable considering the progress we've made in the past few years: growing human ears on lab rats, RFID tagging, nanotechnology, stem cells, genome modification.
Taking into account, how much bad karma humanity has accumulated, since the time we've attained a higher cognitive ability, a robot apocalypse is only fair. In that case, we need a tough-talking super genius with a heart of gold, or Keanu Reeves, to save us all.
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